Maybe Matilda: Purple Tights and Pixie Cuts

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Purple Tights and Pixie Cuts

I mentioned a few days ago that I had a funny story that I was a little hesitant to share . . . this is part of that story. There is a second, semi-outrageous part that could potentially be offensive to the person involved, so I'm leaving it out for now. Sorry. But I hope this first part was worth the wait.

My husband is a student at Palmer College of Chiropractic, just a few weeks away from graduating. I feel so lucky to have made friends with a wonderful group of girls whose husbands attend Palmer as well and are all at various points in the program. One of the traditions among these girls is to throw a graduation/goodbye party for the wives of graduating students, and I'll admit, I attended two of them when I first got here and then never went again because it gets a little emotional for my taste.

Here's what happens: we all socialize and have a fun time, and then we sit in a circle and everyone tells the girls who are leaving how much they love them, all their happy memories, how much they'll miss them, etc. It really is a lovely gesture and I think it's wonderful to let people know how much they've affected your life for the better, but it tends to get a little . . . cheesy. Everybody ends up crying and hugging and baring their souls, and I must have a total heart of stone, because I'm the only one who never sheds a tear and sits there like an awkward lump while everyone else has a transcendent emotional experience. (Can you tell I grew up with 3 older brothers? Not so good at the girly talking thing.)

Anyway, a few weekends ago was the goodbye party for me and the one other girl in the group who is leaving . . . I'll protect her innocence and call her Susan. I prepped myself for some incredibly kindhearted but nonetheless uncomfortable praise, and headed out to the party. The go-around-the-circle-kumbaya began:

Person 1: "Rachel, the thing I'll remember most about you is . . . your hair. It's so cute, and I thought it was really brave of you to cut it so short. And you always dress cute at church on Sundays. And Susan, (begin to cry) you are such an example of charitable service and motherhood and femininity. (Blow nose in a tissue.) And I like Rachel's hair."

Person 2: "I remember the first time I met Rachel . . . and she was wearing the cutest shoes. I always try and think of her when I go shopping so I can dress like her. Susan, (start bawling), when we moved in, you were my first friend, and you brought me dinner every day for a year after my baby was born, and you rebuilt my house from the ground up with your bare hands after a tornado blew it away and I'll never forget you."

Person 3:
"Rachel has these purple tights that I really love. And the first time she wore them, it really made me feel good about myself because I have purple tights, too. And Susan (here come the tears) wove me a blanket from her own hair to wrap my baby in, and she is the perfect vision of saintly wisdom and ladylike virtue."

It's flattering to know that I am apparently such a style icon (wouldn't be hard to do in Davenport, Iowa, but believe me, I'm definitely not as stylish as they all seem to think . . . they're just very, very nice people), but it was rather odd to hear it juxtaposed with Susan's near-saintliness. My greatest accomplishment, it would seem, is cutting off 12+ inches of hair in a desperate attempt to look less like a mangy street urchin.

I'm leaving a legacy of purple tights and pixie cuts. My work here is done.

29 comments :

  1. Oh my goodness - that is too funny!

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  2. Oh my gosh Rachel...I am sitting here laughing so hard my stomach hurts...seriously, that is AWESOME! I know that I, too, completely define you by your hair and your tights...NOT! You, my darlin' girl, are so caring, so funny, so wonderful, so creative & brilliant...and you can stop crying...
    But, really, that stuff is true...;) you rock.

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  3. As someone who has not only rocked a pixie cut but also fun colored hosiery I can appreciate this greatly. Sorry but I'm a Susan, we recently had a going away breakfast for a friend of mine and I was the first person to be bawling and telling her how special she is to me.

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  4. AhhhHHahaha!! Laughing my bottom off!!! Those hairy blankets aren't as soft as you might think Susan should have used yarn! Gosh, that's awesome!

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  5. That's hilarious! I'm with you on the touchy feely stuff. I avoid it too.

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  6. Stumbled upon this blog from Newlywoodwards and this part in particular cracked me up, "It's flattering to know that I am apparently such a style icon (wouldn't be hard to do in Davenport, Iowa, but believe me, I'm definitely not as stylish as they all seem to think . . . they're just very, very nice people)."

    I live in Bettendorf. I totally get what you're saying. :)

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  7. lol...this story made me laugh. You got the look, baby. :0)

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  8. Ahhhh I love it! I have indeed felt this way with my super amazing style and hair----noo--- but you know what as neither a Rachel or a Susan I would for sure aspire to be either!

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  9. Bwahahahahaha!!! You made my day! I love your descriptions of Susan...(whose sainthood is assured, I'm sure!!!)...I know people JUST like that!

    And if it means anything to you I was laughing so hard I was crying....

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  10. You definitely have the right attitude about it, because that would totally hurt my feelings. I'm pretty sensitive, though.

    Amy @ A Little Nosh

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  11. Oh my goodness - this cracked me up!! I'm chalking it up to them being blinded by your beauty and style - they couldn't get past it to comment on your sainthood. :) I wonder if Susan feels unfashionable and homely after hearing about her good deeds compared to your compliments! Ha! :)

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  12. Thanks for the laugh :) Hey, a legacy of pixie cuts & purple leggings is better than no legacy at all. ;)

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  13. Bahahahahahaha!!!!! I laughed SO hard reading this, then had to read this to my husband. This made my day.

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  14. Well maybe you better get that hair back and start crocheting....:)

    I agree with you though, I tend to stay out of the overly-girly stuff too.

    I just stay at home and then everyone believes I'm anti-social.

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  15. Ahaha! LOVED that story, at least you have such a great sense of humor you can just laugh it off and strut away in your purple tights! By the way have I ever told you...I really really like your hair? ;0)

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  16. Bwaha! Way to keep it real, girl. Way to keep it real.

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  17. That is funny! But come on, give us the DIRT! No, just kidding. I wouldn't want you to offend anyone. But I know there's more to it!!!

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  18. That's so funny, and I am so the same way with the touchy feely stuff. Also only have brothers. Maybe that is it!

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  19. Oh my! This sounds 100x's worse than a bridal or baby shower.

    And Davenport isn't trendy?? What?? I thought we were a close second to NYC. :P

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  20. Now that is too funny! Purple tights & pixie cuts, who knew. :)

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  21. It reminds me of the goodbye party they threw for me and another teacher the year I quit....everyone crying about the amazing math teacher of wisdom and love....and laughing about me and the father who had just come in intoxicated and convinced we had met before when I used to work at Hooters....it was lovely.
    liZ
    (simplesimonandco)

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  22. PS---And just for the record I never worked at Hooters...not that there's anything wrong with that...I'm just not what you'd call qualified for the job.
    liZ

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  23. LOL! I'd be afraid to hear what they'd remember about me!

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  24. You're original, you make me laugh...and yes, you have great style!
    This conservative girl does not have your fashion sense...if I tried to put together some "fashionable" outfits, I'm afraid I would look like I was just wearing freebies from the homeless shelter!
    I try, but when I get daring...it's usually just a manicure with a different shade of red, sigh.

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  25. Haha, you honestly made me laugh out loud. "My work here is done." lol. I'm not super emotional either, it always surprises me if something brings me to tears so I tend to say it/make note of it when it does. My roomie/friend moved several provinces away and I was all like 'move back soon, you jerk.' (and she did, although it took a few years.)

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  26. bwahahahahahaha! (wiping away tears) that is so awesomely AWKWARD and hilarious! I suppose there are worse things to be known for, but seriously so funny. hahahahahahaha! Thanks for sharing! I must admit I'm curious about the other part of the story. If you ever feel like writing it feel free to email it to me if you don't want to post it publicly. I bet it is just as awesome.

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  27. Stumbled on this looking for pics of pixies. Huge new fan of Maybe Matilda. I absolutely LOVE your voice.

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