Maybe Matilda: Deep Thoughts with Forrest

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Deep Thoughts with Forrest

Taking a page from Grace’s book.

Forrest: What are you making?
Me: Granola.
Forrest: Gorilla?
Me: Granola.
Forrest: I don’t want gorilla!
Forrest: (near tears) DON’T MAKE ME EAT GORILLA!


Forrest: (watching Darcy drool all over herself) Oh no! She’s drippin’!

Forrest: (performing a dance that involved lots of arm-wiggling) Mama, dance wif me. Jiggle your arms like this!
Me: (wiggles arms)
Forrest: No. Jiggle them, just like this. (demonstrates)
Me: (more wiggling)
Forrest: MAMA. Jiggle them like THIS. (more wiggling)
Me: (wiggles)
Forrest: (heavy sigh) Never mind. You’re not jiggling right.


Forrest: Look in my diaper! I have a secret surprise for you!
Me: (peeks)
Forrest: It’s a poopoo surprise!
Me: :-(

I came downstairs after feeding Darcy…
Forrest: Where you go? I was looking for you all year long!

After telling Jeff he’d rather keep watching TV than go play soccer outside…
Jeff: You are a couch potato.
Forrest: I’m not a couch tomato!


While I’m scolding him for doing something naughty…
Forrest: Mama, you better calm down. WIGHT now.

Forrest: Pwetend you’re sleeping, Mama! Cwose your eyes! (shuts door to my room)
Me: (pretends)
Forrest: (shouting from hallway) Are you awake in der? You better be quiet and go to sleep WIGHT NOW!

Forrest: Mama, can I watch shows?
Me: Sure.
Forrest: No, you need to tell me ‘Sure sweetheart.

Forrest: (bursting in while I’m going to the bathroom) Are you going peepee on the potty Mama?!
Me: Yes. Get out.
Forrest: Wow, Mama! I’m vewwy vewwy so pwoud of you! Dat’s a great job!
Me: Get out.
Forrest: (clapping) So much peepee, Mama! Wow, you are da best big girl! Now wiggle your penis, wiggle wiggle wiggle, to get all the peepee drips off!
Me: . . .



  1. After the "poo poo" surprise I'd tell him to change his own diaper. ;) Sounds like you have your hands full with that one.

  2. Hilarious ... especially that last one! I love this age, the things they say are so funny!

  3. How nice of him to be worried about the peepee drips on your penis!

  4. This is hilarious! It made my entire morning.

  5. hahahahahahahahaha he is h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s-!

  6. Hahahaha. So hilarious. Love reading your stories about them!

  7. Oh man... the last one is the best. What a character.

  8. The last episode just MADE MY DAY. Yay for 3yo boys!! Nina.

  9. This made my morning! Wow. Can't figure out which one I like more, maybe the "poo-poo surprise" or "She's drippin'!". Please do this more often. Please, please, please.

  10. Such a shame that he is so boring, with no personality whatsoever!

  11. I am picturing Forrest reading this as an adult, WOW!

  12. Lol. I hope my son has this much personality.... I think. Lol

  13. HAHA!! Too funny. I can't wait to potty train my son ;)

  14. Lol, You made me laugh out loud with the last one :) I do NOT have the same situation over here ;)

  15. HAHAHA!!! This made me laugh so hard. It's like we're living in the same house!
    PS - I finally remembered to grab some monistat for my face today. It was awful. Target was restocking and I was sneaking around "that" aisle and the kid asked if he could help me and he didn't know what I was talking about, so called a friend over.... and of course they were out and hadn't restocked it yet so I had to go to Walgreens and start all over. Sigh.

  16. Oh my goshhhhh that last one is soooooo hilarious! He's such a smartypants!

  17. I'm sitting here, laughing out loud. PLEASE keep these posts up! So much fun! :)

  18. Since I have a closet full of *gasp* bootcut jeans I had to give this a try. Your instructions were so helpful. The hardest part was HAND SEWING the seams since I don't have a sewing machine! I now have a super cute and stylish pair of skinnies :-) No way I could've stuffed all that fabric into these boots before! Thanks for another great blog post Rachel!

  19. Seriously, this age, it is awesome. I was dying over the last one, and also the one where he was yelling at you to be quiet and go to sleep. Because I bet I can guess where he got it and soooo btdt.

  20. So hilarious! Especially the last one :)

  21. Oh my gosh, this was the best post! I love when you share conversations with Forest. Totally cracks me up. Glad my kid isn't the only one who shares secret surprises. :)~

  22. Nooo idea where he may have gotten the idea to yell at me to shutup and sleep, no idea at all.....

  23. That's awesome, great job! I can't believe you hand sewed them . . . that must have been such a pain. But they came out awesome!

  24. Bahahahahahhaa! Awesome. Of course they would be out of it. I can't stop laughing at this :-)

  25. Oh my gosh this is great! Right along with my Wil-isms (which I need to do a post on some ones from here lately). The last one kills me haha.

  26. Thanks! Surprisingly it only took about 2 hours of sewing per leg and wasn't too bad. I stuck my fingers about 523 times during the process! Luckily, no blood drawn...bad with light colored pants. I wasn't looking forward to it but thought, hey, people sewed by hand for billions of years before machines came along! That rationalization convinced me to try it. I definitely would like a machine to finish off the rest of my balloony pants though ;-)

  27. Thanks for the interesting post. I have few baggy jeans. I think I an do some changes like this stitching on my jeans.

    Wholesale Women trouser

  28. Thank you so much for this tutorial! Saved me a ton of research, and multiple mistakes along the way. Squeee!

    Here's the result, if you're interested:

  29. This is quite easy to make this change as per your size. But will you please tell me do we need any professional machine for this stitching.

  30. What kind of thread did you use? Just regular all purpose, or is there a special kind that is more durable for jeans.

  31. I bought a pair of 7 for all mankind jeans at a resale shop, and they fit great through the waist and hips, but they're total bell bottoms! I had a hard time justifying wearing them around with a flare that big, despite how well they fit. After years of sitting in my closet, I recently became interested in tailoring them. I did a quick google search to see if it could even be done, and I came across this post. I just finished them and they look so AWESOME!!! Now its a perfect fit! So proud of my handy-work! I know what I'm wearing on casual Friday!! Thank you for the help!!

  32. Yay! I'm so glad it worked out well for you!


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