And THEN he said . . .

How much do you hate it when moms add captions of what their baby is saying/thinking in pictures?

This was just one of the many things I vowed never to do when I had a baby—it just seemed goofy to me to add an “I sure love my grandma!” or an “Oops, is there something on my face?!” to a picture of a baby. Obviously, the baby is saying no such thing. I’d bet money he’s not thinking it, either.

And in my lofty, knowledgeable, childless state, I decided I would never do something so silly. I was a parenting expert before I became a parent. (Also on the ridiculous list of things I wouldn’t do when I had a baby were such choice items as “never sniff his butt to check for a dirty diaper,” and “never take him out of the house in a mismatched outfit.” It’s been a long, hard fall down that list, knocking off every last item along the way.)

But then when I end up with a series of pictures like this, how am I supposed to let it go captionless? I’m fighting the urge to add captions here . . . I’m fighting it hard. And I am losing this battle, my friends.

(Do you see what he’s wearing? Check that “mismatched outfit” item off my mothering list! There’s a two-for-one special on the parenting checklist today. Get ready for some mismatched, awkwardly outfitted captions!)

We thought it would be fun to take Forrest out to get frozen yogurt. Never mind that it was something like 4 degrees outside, or that the wind was strong enough to literally push me across the parking lot. Off we went. Clearly, someone did not appreciate our attempt at fun family activities and quality time spent together. After one lick of  frozen yogurt, he was trying to scrape his tongue off with his fingernails—who is this child? Surely no son of mine would turn his nose up at delicious Smores-flavored frozen yogurt! There must have been some sort of mix-up at the hospital. No wonder he doesn’t have any of my smashing good looks.

Maybe he just didn’t like how cold it was—we offered him some brownie bites from our bowls instead.

(If I were a caption sort of person, this is where I’d write, “Hmmm, this looks more promising!”)

Unfortunately, even the brownies were a bust.

(Caption: “Abort, abort, abort!”)

This from the boy whose lunch yesterday consisted mostly of—I’m not joking—brownies. Maybe he’s going to be a food snob who turns up his nose at store bought brownie bites. Homemade brownies are acceptable, but factory-made brownies?!

REMOVE THIS FOUL SUBSTANCE!

And, by the way, I have no idea where he got all these dramatics from. NO IDEA, I TELL YOU!