Deep Thoughts with Forrest #5

Forrest’s favorite toy right now is this icky, grungy-looking little mini-Barbie-type doll that he shoplifted from the thrift store. He is obsessed with her and plays with her 25 hours a day. We went to a frozen yogurt place recently and Forrest left the doll on a table while he checked out the selection.
Employee: Oops, someone forgot their doll! (to a family with little girls) Does this belong to one of you?
Jeff: Oh, that’s my son’s.
Employee:
Jeff:
Employee:
Jeff:

Forrest: Can I type on the computer?
Me: No.
Forrest: Please? Pleeeease can I type on the computer?
Me: No.
Forrest: Fank you, Mama! Fank you so much!
Me: For what?
Forrest: Fank you for saying, ‘Yes Forrest, I wuv you and yes you can type on the computer wight now!’

Upon spotting an earwig . . .
Forrest: HAAAAAALP!!!! There’s an ant with wiggle arms over here!!!

While watching Justice League with Jeff
Forrest: Do those guys have a penis?
Jeff:

Forrest: Did you know that Ninny Mouse does not have a dad?
Me: Oh yeah?
Forrest: Yes. Her dad died-ed, so he go-ded to heaven.
Me:
Forrest: But Ninny is not sad, because she has a friend named Mickey and he makes her happy even though her daddy is very died-ed.

Shortly after the above discussion, while he was trying to climb on top of the little car cart at the grocery store.
Me: Get down. You’re going to fall and crack your head open.
Forrest: Uh-oh, if I crack my head open then I would go back to heaven. Hey, I could say hi to Ninny Mouse’s dad!

While I was taking pictures,
Forrest: Are you taking pictures of Darcy for her wedding?
Me: . . . no . . .
Forrest: Oh. Huh. Then why are you taking pictures of her?

Someone used the old “Guess what? Chicken butt!” in Forrest’s earshot recently, and he thinks it’s hilarious but cannot, no matter how much he tries, quote it correctly. So instead, we’ve been enjoying his endless variations of it, all of which are almost sort of close to being right, but never quite there. Such as . . .
Forrest: Do you know what it is time for?
Me: What?
Forrest: Chicken butt!!!!
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Forrest: Guess what comes next?
Me: What?
Forrest: Chicken butt!!!!
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Forrest: Do you know what this calls for?
Me: What?
Forrest: Chicken butt!!!!