The (Semi-)Retirement Post

Good morning, all! I'm sure it's become obvious that I'm losing speed blogging, and fast.

I think the time has come to make it official and head into the wide green pastures of blogging retirement. I don't plan to shut anything down or even cease posting 100% . . . this site and my social media will stay up (and I'll warn you beforehand if I should ever change my mind and decide to close anything completely, in case there are crochet patterns or recipes you want to print out and save). I'll probably post occasionally from time to time, but I figured I'd use this post as a formal retirement (or at least semi-retirement) notice.

Since I've gotten a few concerned comments and emails over the past few weeks: everything's fine here at home, and nothing big or bad has happened! Blogging has just started to feel more and more like a chore instead of something I look forward to, so it seems silly to force myself to try and continue doing something that isn't much fun for me anymore. Life is busy, time is precious, and the internet isn't really a place where I want to spend much of my time.

Thank you very, very much for your involvement, comments, friendship, and support over the years! It has meant so, so much to me that you take time out of your day to read/participate here. I wish you all the best, and I'll see you around!

First Ever Reader Survey—help a sister out?

I’ve never done this before, but I would LOVE to hear from you, whether you are a long-time reader or a newer visitor.

One thing that kept coming up at Build Your Blog Conference last month was knowing who your readers are and what they want from you. One presenter said something like, “Maybe you think you’re writing a parenting blog but if you asked, you’d discover that your readers’ favorite posts are your weekly family-friendly recipes . . . and it’s time to turn into a recipe blog!”

And I’ve never really asked before, but I’d love to know—what are you doing here? What do you like about this blog? What would you like to see done differently?

If you’ve got a moment to spare, would you help me out and take the survey below? I’d love to learn more about you, and find out exactly what you like (or dislike!) on my blog, so I can focus on creating content that you will enjoy.

As always, thank you so much for reading, and thank you in advance for adding your two cents in the survey!

Build Your Blog Conference 2015 Recap

This could be a pitch for a crappy reality show: “Ok, so we take an introverted blogger who hates big events and meeting hordes of new people, and we send her to this enormous conference with 700 other bloggers, and we see if she survives!”

My fellow introverts probably shuddered reading that sentence, and will totally understand why I packed a book in case I needed to leave the masses and hide in a corner by myself to recover.

I spent the weekend at Build Your Blog Conference in Salt Lake City, along with 700+ other bloggers to learn how to create better content, reach bigger audiences, and make more money blogging. I hadn’t planned to attend—I’ve never been to a blog conference before—but I ended up with a sponsorship from Taste of Home, so off I went.

It turned out to be a really fun experience (despite my nerves!), and I met some sweet new friends. And would you believe it—I never even had to go hide with my book (although I did head home early both days—I can only push myself so far). I learned so much helpful information on how to improve the content I share, and there are plenty of tweaks I’d like to make to improve my writing and photography and site design.

But you know, my main takeaway from the event was that I’m happy where I am in blogging, and I’m not sure that huge growth will ever be my biggest blogging goal.

It seems that a lot of the bigger money-making opportunities in blogging are via methods I have no interest in, either because I find them a turn-off when I see them on other blogs, or because they simply aren’t a good fit for my personality, or they would move me and my blog in a direction I don’t want. Maybe that means I’ll always stay a smaller blog, and if so, that’s fine.

I love what goes on here. I love that I can be open and honest and share my life with you, and I love that you guys visit and read and chat with me. And of course I am thrilled that I can make money on my blog when an opportunity comes along that is a great fit (and I learned lots of new ways to make the most of those opportunities and build relationships with brands I care about).

But when I blog, I think my biggest goals are always going to be about improving my writing, connecting with like-minded people, sharing more of the things that matters most to me, trying to spread some joy and creativity . . . and I’ll let the numbers do what they will.

Some of my favorite notes from the conference:

- Don’t let old posts die. Remind readers—new and old—of the great posts you wrote 3 months or 3 years ago.

- It’s easy to worry about numbers (pageviews, followers, likes, etc.) but engagement and a sense of community are far more important than statistics (yes, this!).

- The main message at the Taste of Home event was to know your readers—know who they are and what they want, and give them what they’re after without worrying about what’s trendy. So . . . maybe you guys can prep yourselves for a reader survey, because I’m going to need to find out exactly what you want from me :-)

- Focus on WHY you do what you do, not HOW or WHAT. The ‘why’ is your motivation and gives your work meaning—the ‘how’ and ‘what’ are just the day-to-day minutiae. It’s easy to get caught up in those details but the WHY keeps you centered and meaningful.

On Nerves

I’m sure I’m far from being the only person to put something off for fear of not doing it perfectly. I wouldn’t exactly call myself a perfectionist, but I often find that I’m talking myself out of doing things I really would like to do with thoughts like you won’t be good at that, you’ll just embarrass yourself or don’t bother, it won’t be as good as so-and-so does it or, especially when it comes to blogging, no one wants to see/read that, so don’t even try. I can’t tell you  how many blog posts I’ve written then immediately deleted because I’ve been nervous to share something personal, or worried someone wouldn’t like what I had to say, or I’ve just thought maybe it wasn’t good or important enough t0 post.

And I’m not sure what has changed lately, but I’m finding myself having those same thoughts and, for the first time, following them up with Rachel, don’t be dumb.

(^^^ I call this one Deep Thoughts. Alternate title: A Helicopter Flew By.)

All of a sudden (and, might I add, finally!), it strikes me as extremely silly to stop myself from doing things I want to do because I’m nervous about them not being good enough—either good enough for me, or good enough for sharing on the almighty internet. So I’m trying to get over my nerves, and stop procrastinating things that I think will make me happy.

Three examples of this today. And they’re all really small and silly examples, I know, but hopefully they’re the start of a new season of less procrastination and nerves for me, and I hope I can extend this to bigger, more important things in my life that I’ve let fear stop me from pursuing.

Numero uno. I bought supplies to sew myself a knit pencil skirt three years ago. And for three years, the fabric and thread and elastic sat in a closet gathering dust, and every few months I would see them and think, “Hey! I should sew that skirt!” But that would immediately be followed by, “I’ve never sewn with knits. It’ll probably turn out awful.” I can almost hear you saying, “Seriously? Just sew the dang skirt.” And you’d be right! Why would I spend three years—literally. threeeee yeeeeaaaaars—stressing over and procrastinating a project that I was excited about?

I finally came to my senses last weekend, got out my fabric, and 40 minutes later had the skirt I planned to make 3 years ago. Is it perfect? Far from it. But I like it anyway, and I feel awfully silly for spending 3 years hoping to be magically endowed with professional-level sewing knowledge and abilities when I could have just done something I wanted to do from the start. Is this a huge accomplishment? Not at all. But still. Baby steps.

Numero dos. I’ve mentioned before that I am scared to death at the thought of coloring my hair. I’m perfectly okay with chopping it down to nearly nothing, but for some reason, dye really makes me nervous. But I have pinned and obsessed over countless hair photos over the last few years and wondered if I should go lighter? or darker? or add highlights? And I always, always wimped out because it made me nervous. I’m not trying to take some stance about hair color, but once again, I finally thought, for pete’s sake, I’ve wanted to try some of these things for so long. Just do it already. Love it or hate it, at least I’ll have tried something instead of spending hours and hours wondering whether or not I should.

So I finally did. A few weeks back, after literally months of collecting ombre hair photos, I finally just nutted up and went to my hairstylist. And you know what? I love it. I’m glad I stopped being so nervous about something I wanted to do, and just went for it.

Numero tres.

Like I said earlier, I’ve written and then deleted dozens and dozens of posts over the years, because I was worried about doing blogging right. I’d fret over what I should or shouldn’t be posting about, and wonder if this post or this topic would be right for my blog, and I’d toss out things I actually did want to write about because I worried people wouldn’t like it or it wouldn’t ‘fit’ on my blog.

Finally, a lightbulb.

I should post whatever I dang feel like. It’s never been my goal to become some big shot blogger. I started blogging because I thought I’d enjoy documenting my life and sharing the things I think I’m good at, and I really do! So shouldn’t that be my only goal here, really? To enjoy it? To write things I want to write, and share things I want to share, and not worry about whether people will like it or hate it or stop following or think I’m ________________ (fill in the blank with any number of things I’ve worried people will think about me over the years).

A post like this one, for instance? With pictures of myself and no real point to it? 6 months ago, I can guarantee I would have deleted it right away. Even though I have secretly wanted, from the very day I started blogging, to do the occasional outfit post to help me hone in on my personal style and get more creative with my closet (because I love reading those posts when others write them!), I’ve always been scared to.

What if someone thinks I’m conceited, posting pictures of myself? Or thinks I’m a cheapskate, since my clothes are always from thrift shops and Walmart? Or what if people think my outfits are ugly and stupid and not trendy enough to be worth sharing? Or what if they think, why is she bothering with this nonsense, she should just stick to crochet?

So I’m taking steps here. Hopefully not just on the rather silly, unimportant topics of blog posts and hair and sewing. I’m trying to be less nervous in general, and just DO things I want to do without spending so much time worrying about them. If I want to try something, I should just try it, whether or not it comes out okay. And if I want to blog about things that maybe people won’t love or care a ton about—like a skirt I (very belatedly) sewed for myself and the outfit I made around it--I’m going to just do it. Maybe I’ll lose some followers by branching out and not sticking solely to things I know I’m good at. But I started this blog for me, and I’m reclaiming it.

For the sake of strength in numbers . . . will you tell me something you want to do but are nervous to try? Maybe we can all be brave together. (I’ll start . . . besides those I listed already, I’m interested in—but totally petrified at the thought of—getting a Masters. Working on narrowing it down between 3+ potential fields. Ha!)

Outfit deets . . . go ahead and judge me and my miniscule budget!
Jacket: c/o Dresslily
Top: thrifted + altered
Skirt: homemade
Scarf: Walmart
Booties: Kmart

Are you there, Blog?

You know what always cracks me up? When I see a blog post that starts with, “I am SOOOO sorry I haven’t posted in like 4 whole days!!! I’m still alive, I promise, LOL! Don’t worry!!!” As if every reader has been gnawing at their fingernails, constantly refreshing the page to check for updates, wondering if they should send out the search and rescue squad to solve The Mystery of The Missing Blogger. I have rarely, if ever, noticed when the bloggers I stalk have taken a little break, so I’m going to assume that no one noticed (or fretted over) my week-long absence here.

I mostly haven’t had anything interesting to say or show you—the past week was an unusual mix of busy-ness (2 doctor’s appointments consisting of 3 long-overdue vaccinations for a very unhappy Forrest as well as some steroids for me . . . I can’t even describe the nerdy good-girl-turned-rebel glee I feel when I pop my steroid pills in the morning, even if it’s just to treat a wacky rash on my chest), and laziness (I read 3 books this week while languishing on the couch in a drug-induced stupor—what a nice change from watching Gossip Girl on Netflix). I even tried to crack a steroid joke with the pharmacist when picking up my prescription—I overestimated the extent of our friendship (I guess asking his advice on how to treat bronchitis because I didn’t want to pay for a doctor’s appointment a few months back did not forge as deep of a bond on his end as it did on mine), and he did not seem particularly amused by my ‘roid rage humor. I’ll win him over sooner or later, just you wait. I’m coming for you, Mr. Stony-Faced Pharmacist.

But there’s been another whisper of an underlying reason I didn’t post much this week . . . despite the busy-ness and tired-ness and rash-fighting-ness and lack-of-friendship-with-my-pharmacist-ness, I’d think about writing a post and realize something: I’m not really sure what my blog’s deal is anymore.

I mentioned that I often enjoy a little private laugh at bloggers who apologize for infrequent posting, as if they owe it to me, somehow, to be constantly dazzling me with new projects or amazing ideas or stylish outfits or gourmet recipes or hilarious anecdotes. Another blogger phenomenon I’ve giggled over in the past is bloggers posting some sort of poll or survey asking readers what they enjoy about the blog . . . “what kind of posts do you like to see? What keeps you coming back for more? What would you like to see more of here? What posts do you skip?” I used to see posts asking for such feedback and think to myself, “Good gracious, just write what you want. It’s your blog.” But I totally understand that now, and although I’m resisting the urge to make a survey and beg for your thoughts, I read through a few of my older posts recently and realized my blog has been going through a bit of an identity crisis—at first, all I posted was tutorials, sewing projects, my own craft ideas or other ladies’ projects that blew my mind. It was a craft blog and a venue to shamelessly promote my etsy shop (see how I resisted the shameless self-promotion there? no link!). I rarely wrote anything that was personal or not craft-related.

In recent months though, I haven’t come up with any new ideas or tutorials, and the only crafty projects I’ve shown have been things I’ve made using other people’s patterns/tutorials, but didn’t think up on my own. I feel fine about this—honestly, why come up with a new tutorial or idea when there are a zillion amazing patterns and instructions out there already?—but it almost leaves me a little uncertain about where this blog is headed, and where I want it to go. Do I want it to turn into a simple project gallery? Or a lifestyle blog with funny stories about my kid? Do I need to keep posting tutorials and craft ideas to keep readers coming back? Should I even care if readers keep coming back? And then there’s the occasional oddball post like my haircut pictures recently that gets, like, 400% more comments than anything else I ever write and I end up thinking, “Should I even pretend this is a craft blog anymore when the posts that get the most comments are about my hair?”

So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I’m not positive where this blog is right now or where it’s going, but I think I’m just going to let it wander where it wants to wander. I’ve seen creative bloggers mention feeling pressured or competitive—if they don’t have new ideas, original tutorials, large-and-in-charge content, big events or changes always in the works, they’ll fall behind and seem boring or behind-the-times or unexciting. I have somehow avoided feeling any such pressure to perform, and am kind of enjoying just writing whatever comes to mind, even if it doesn’t necessarily fit what I thought this blog would be when I began. I can hardly call it a craft blog anymore since there’s an undeniable lack of original craft ideas, but I’m not sure what to call it instead. Just my blog, I guess? Maybe it doesn’t need a category. When I think of the blogs I most enjoy reading, I sort of have a hard time categorizing them . . . sure, I appreciate and want to read good content, but the blogs that have remained favorites of mine in the long run instead of just popping up and then being quickly forgotten are the ones whose writing really grabs me. I do care, to a degree, what they’re writing about, but I mostly just love reading what they have to say and how they say it. Maybe that’s where my blog belongs . . . somewhere in the “Is that girl still blabbing?” category.

And, without begging for it, this is me quietly wondering aloud why you read this blog, exactly, and what you enjoy about it? Because I kind of have no idea what any of you are doing here, if I’m being honest. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so glad to have fun readers that seriously feel like real-life friends (no matter how many times Jeff tells me I need to air-quote “friends” when I’m talking about blog friends) . . . but I’m not exactly sure what makes you want to subscribe or come back for more.

And since you’re already here and, quite frankly, are probably bored to tears if you’re still reading this, I’ll reward you with some pictures that will be getting their own posts sometime soon . . . a quick and adorable scarf I spent a whopping 15 minutes and $3 on . . . I’ll share the 3-step how-to in a day or two:

And my sister and I pretending to be much more suave, sexy, and sophisticated than we actually are in a mini photo shoot featuring the darling clothing section at Bungalow Boutique . . . more photos to come later. I’m still sad every morning when I open my closet and it only has my regular old clothes inside instead of these ones:

Over and out.