This could be a pitch for a crappy reality show: “Ok, so we take an introverted blogger who hates big events and meeting hordes of new people, and we send her to this enormous conference with 700 other bloggers, and we see if she survives!”
My fellow introverts probably shuddered reading that sentence, and will totally understand why I packed a book in case I needed to leave the masses and hide in a corner by myself to recover.
I spent the weekend at Build Your Blog Conference in Salt Lake City, along with 700+ other bloggers to learn how to create better content, reach bigger audiences, and make more money blogging. I hadn’t planned to attend—I’ve never been to a blog conference before—but I ended up with a sponsorship from Taste of Home, so off I went.
It turned out to be a really fun experience (despite my nerves!), and I met some sweet new friends. And would you believe it—I never even had to go hide with my book (although I did head home early both days—I can only push myself so far). I learned so much helpful information on how to improve the content I share, and there are plenty of tweaks I’d like to make to improve my writing and photography and site design.
But you know, my main takeaway from the event was that I’m happy where I am in blogging, and I’m not sure that huge growth will ever be my biggest blogging goal.
It seems that a lot of the bigger money-making opportunities in blogging are via methods I have no interest in, either because I find them a turn-off when I see them on other blogs, or because they simply aren’t a good fit for my personality, or they would move me and my blog in a direction I don’t want. Maybe that means I’ll always stay a smaller blog, and if so, that’s fine.
I love what goes on here. I love that I can be open and honest and share my life with you, and I love that you guys visit and read and chat with me. And of course I am thrilled that I can make money on my blog when an opportunity comes along that is a great fit (and I learned lots of new ways to make the most of those opportunities and build relationships with brands I care about).
But when I blog, I think my biggest goals are always going to be about improving my writing, connecting with like-minded people, sharing more of the things that matters most to me, trying to spread some joy and creativity . . . and I’ll let the numbers do what they will.
Some of my favorite notes from the conference:
- Don’t let old posts die. Remind readers—new and old—of the great posts you wrote 3 months or 3 years ago.
- It’s easy to worry about numbers (pageviews, followers, likes, etc.) but engagement and a sense of community are far more important than statistics (yes, this!).
- The main message at the Taste of Home event was to know your readers—know who they are and what they want, and give them what they’re after without worrying about what’s trendy. So . . . maybe you guys can prep yourselves for a reader survey, because I’m going to need to find out exactly what you want from me :-)
- Focus on WHY you do what you do, not HOW or WHAT. The ‘why’ is your motivation and gives your work meaning—the ‘how’ and ‘what’ are just the day-to-day minutiae. It’s easy to get caught up in those details but the WHY keeps you centered and meaningful.
It definitely can be hard to go out of your shell and new people when there are so many people around! Thanks for coming over and saying hi to me!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you. Attending a blog conference is a totally scary thing. I actually enjoyed the one I went to a lot more than I thought I would.
ReplyDeleteYou're still a favorite blog read of mine. :)
Good for you! I thought about going this year, but didn't. I'll blame my husband for being born on Saturday, but the real reason was that I couldn't get past my introvertedness. I'm glad to hear that even an introvert could enjoy this conference. Maybe next year I'll get out of my shell!
ReplyDeleteI love the focus on community and engagement. That focus can help you to know your readers and I like to think that eventually it may just increase the numbers.
I love your book review posts. It is hard for me to find bloggers who like to read books in such a variety of genres that are good, solid books. I also love your Forrest blog days. They seriously make my work days just a little brighter ... anyway, glad you had fun and learned that you are enjoying what you are doing! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I got to meet you! I think they should start doing teeny tiny blog conference for people like me--cap of like 25 attendees ;-)
ReplyDeleteLook at us, growing up and doing hard things :-P
ReplyDeleteI agree with you--I feel like a good community just might attract new readers, but even if I never get big impressive numbers, I'd rather have a little core of friends here that I can talk and relate to.
ReplyDeleteAnd it wasn't quite as scary as I expected. I was really nervous about having to talk to so many new people, but once I realized that most people had come alone and didn't know a soul either, it didn't seem quite so bad.
Thank you so much for your input! I love hearing what posts people like best. It will be a big let-down if Forrest ever stops being so hilarious--those are everyone's favorite posts :-P
ReplyDeleteThat's great that you challenged yourself to go and do something out of the box for you. Personally, if you never change anything about your blog, I'll still be one happy reader. You're one of my favorite bloggers. You're honest, funny, real, and write well. And one of my favorite things about you...is that you interact with your readers in the comment section. That's one of the prime reasons I don't comment on many blogs is because you feel like the writer has no connection with their readers. I think you do a great job! :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you did go to the conference, I consider myself an introvert, too! I'm so glad you saw me sitting all alone and decided to come sit by me. It was so fun to get to know you!
ReplyDeleteSince I read this yesterday I have been thinking about why I read your blog over others (I only have 4 blogs that I regularly read). First of all, i love your writing style. You crack me up and your posts are real. You write about what you care about, not what you think will get you the most readers. I love how you take time to respond to comments also, makes us feel more like friends (is that creepy to say?)
ReplyDeleteI teared up reading this, Rachel! I had almost the EXACT same experience with my son. Although he was a happy baby, (other than the normal fussiness in the evenings), he would. not. sleep. I was so tired, I wasn’t safe to drive (or be a good parent, probably). It took me over a year to recover after he started sleeping because my brain just wouldn’t go into a deep sleep cycle anymore. I was ready to leave my husband (like literally, I had a plan and everything) for reasons I felt were obvious, when really it was my sleep deprived brain trying to find a reason for my depression and lack of rest. I cried all day long. I finally got help a bit before he turned 1, and I wish I would have gotten help sooner because after a few sessions of therapy, I was given tools to deal with the depression and the thoughts of blame I was having. I luckily haven’t gotten it with my second (she is 3 months old, knock on wood). I was able to see it creeping back in and I was able to go back to the techniques I had used to first time with the therapist. It is a long, lonely road. Thank you for sharing your story!
ReplyDeleteIt feels like such a big step to finally be able to recognize exactly what factors will set depression and anxiety off! At least that way, you can more or less see it coming and hopefully head it off. I hope you find the right combo of treatments that works for you! Thank you for sharing your experience, and good luck!
ReplyDeleteMelody, that is the sweetest comment! Thank you for saying that, and thank you for being such a faithful reader! That is the best part of blogging for me--I love having 'friends' here and meeting people I might never have the chance to get to know in real life.
ReplyDeleteAnd ditto for what you said about comments--I have like 5 blogs I comment on because I love the authors and they answer back, and that's it. Who wants to have a one-sided conversation?
That last sentence in your comment is perfection. Seriously, life is 100% harder when you feel like you have to pretend it's perfect.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad I got to meet you, Emily! I'm having fun exploring your blog--I think I'll make your blueberry lemon muffins this weekend.
ReplyDeleteSuch a nice comment, Jackie--I even read it out loud to Jeff because it made me so happy :-) And totally not creepy, because I feel like the whole point of blogging is connecting and making friends! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment--I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI think people are drawn to you because you're real! Well of course you're real but you can write in a way that people can relate. Introvert and all :) So many people hide their true self and are afraid of what people will think. Excited to see where your blog takes you...you have the opportunity to touch many people's lives through your experiences and really that's why we're here to learn from each other and offer support. And you have an awesome sense of humor!
ReplyDeleteI'm so proud of you for going! Honestly, I'm an extrovert and going to a conference wasn't easy for me to go. And I think that it's wonderful that what you took away is that you don't want to change. ;) Why should you want to change when you are perfect? ;) Love your blog and you.
ReplyDeleteRachel - this is so brave to put this out there. It's something I didn't deal with, but I have had friends who have and it can be scary, lonely, and overwhelming. When someone as awesome as you puts it all out there, it's bound to encourage and inspire other moms.
ReplyDeleteRachel.....I suffered from very severe PPD when I was 18. I was in an extremely abusive relationship which started when I was a few months along, I mean surprised I never lost the baby through so much abuse and depression. I too had very vivid thoughts and images of my little one and they were horrible and I had no control over my feelings and my thoughts.....I ended up acting out irrationally which was out of ordinary for me, and well I will leave it at that. I'm just glad to see that PPD is more widely recognized and every mother should know that she is not alone when it comes to PPD and there is help to guide through the worst of it. Maybe one day I will maybe post a blog about my own experiences with PPD so I can help other women get over their shame and come to terms with it. Thank you Rachel, I'm so happy to find other women who have suffered from PPD because for many many years I have felt alone and ashamed.....Thank you..
ReplyDeleteThanks Kim :-)
ReplyDeleteOh Michelle, I am so sorry you went through that. What a terrible time that must have been. Thank you for sharing your experience. I hope you're doing well now.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I had many of the same experiences with my first child and wish I had done something to sort myself out at the time. My mental state kept me from bonding well with my son and made the transition to parenthood so difficult. I have struggled with anxiety and depression for many years and I should have been more cognizant of the signs, post-partum.
ReplyDeleteThanks for being open about your life experiences. I hope a new mom might read your post and recognize herself and take the necessary steps to get well. It means a lot to see that there people all around the world experiencing similar emotions or issues, especially on those really low days and dark nights when you feel so empty.
Totally agree that just knowing others have faced/are facing the same fight makes it a little easier to bear. Thanks for sharing your experience as well.
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing your story.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing. I had a very similar experience with my Forest. Colic really is a nightmare, though I remember thinking similarly to you: some babies have actual long term health problems so I am a total wuss for not handling this well. When people ask when we'll have our next baby I feel my blood pressure start to rise. I feel so lucky just to have survived that colicky, never-sleeps newborn stuff, the thought of risking PPD again just seems so scary. I can say all that I want that the next time will be different, I'll be better prepared, or surely the next kid will be easier, but once those post-partum hormones kick in, there is just no telling what the outcome will be. I too have sat down to write a post about my experience with PPD but can never seem to find the courage to hit the publish button. And I know better because the worst part of the whole thing was feeling utterly alone, so I certainly want other mommas to know that the struggle is real and very common. But even being common, it isn't 'normal' and help is available and nothing to be ashamed of. Thanks for being so brave and honest.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing! i always feel that when moms talk openly about their labor/delivery problems, baby blues, depression, and post partum depression, it empowers women as a whole and creates a stronger bond between all mothers. i've had three kids, and with each baby i get the baby blues pretty bad for a solid 3 weeks. i feel lucky that my symptoms don't last longer (which would indicate post partum depression), but for those 3 weeks, i feel all the same things you mentioned! it is awful and hard to function. and, after my first, knowing what to expect and accepting that this is how my body reacts to the hormonal changes after having a baby, it is much easier for me to talk to my friends and family about it and to prepare in advance for that time. anyway, thanks again for this post :)
ReplyDeleteThank you, Agnes.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it is a curse of the name Forrest/Forest :-P I am with you on the fear of having another child. We are sort of in the same boat now, wondering if we want another child, especially since we know what I'll likely go through again. Having kids is hard enough as it is, and then throwing PPD on top . . . it is tough to make family decisions with that as a factor!
ReplyDeleteThank you Emily! And thanks for sharing your own experience--I totally agree that these sorts of issues need to be 'aired.' They're hard to deal with, period, but even harder if we feel like they need to be a secret!
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing! For many people, individual therapy is also an important part of treatment, but it sounds like you're doing great!
ReplyDeleteAgreed, I have had friends that it has been great for! I wish I had given it more of a chance.
ReplyDelete