Deep Thoughts with Forrest #8

Forrest: Do you know who is pwettier than you, Mama?
Me:
Forrest: Jasmine. She is vewwy pwettier than you.
Me:

At church, Forrest was staring at the family seated in front of us, particularly the dad holding their (totally normal looking) baby boy.
Forrest: (in a very loud stage whisper) That baby is CREEPY.
Dad in front of us overhears, of course, and turns around.
Forrest: (directed to the dad, whispered even louder than before) It’s because of his creepy face. He has a really creepy face.

Forrest talks very loudly (and yes, we’ve had his hearing checked), and I’m sorry to say I get frustrated with his constant very loud chatter.
Me: (annoyed when he shouted something right in my face) Why do you shout everything all the time?!
Forrest: Because I’m really excited about everything!

I found a huge pile of waffle pieces and crumbs right next to the kitchen sink, where I think Forrest had tried to dump his breakfast leftovers into the sink and missed.
Me: Forrest, what’s this mess?
Forrest: Oh, that? That’s all my breakfast.
Me: Yes, I can see that. Clean it up.
Forrest: Oh really? Huh. I left it there because I thought you would probably like to clean it up.
Me:
Forrest: Because of how you’re really good at cleaning. All by yourself.

After polishing off a bowl of yogurt.
Forrest: I need more yogurt!
Me: Okay, just a second . . . (finishes folding laundry)
10 minutes later
Forrest: I need yogurt!
Me: Right, hang on . . . (responds to a few emails and gets distracted by pinterest)
10 minutes later
Forrest: I need more yogurt please!
Me: Oh, ok, yes . . . (refills Darcy’s juice and gets her a snack, washes a few dishes, then finally hands Forrest a full bowl of yogurt probably 25 minutes, minimum, after his first yogurt request)
Forrest: Oh boy, thanks! That was very quickly!

Sitting next to me on the couch, he accidentally rubbed his hand against my bare leg.
Forrest: Whoa!! Those are some sharp legs!

My mom let Forrest bring home a Jasmine toy from her house, which he keeps forgetting to return to her. Every time we go to her house now, he asks if he can bring home another toy.
Me: You can’t borrow another toy from Grandma’s house until you bring back the one you already borrowed.
Forrest: (indignant) I was not borrowing a toy!!!
Me: Yes, you took the Jasmine doll, remember?
Forrest: I was not borrowing her! I was taking her and keeping her!!!

We got a Costco membership recently and now Forrest is obsessed with samples. He likes his food cut into ‘sample bites,’ and loves offering samples around the table.
Forrest: (holding out a plate full of random toys) Do you want a sample? It is hot noodles!
Me: Yum. How did you make it?
Forrest: I used sugar, and ketchup slices, and sugar, and shark nuts.