Deep Thoughts with Forrest #9

I put on a movie for Forrest to watch while I took a shower and got ready. When I came downstairs a while later . . .
Forrest: You all done getting ready, Mama?
Me: Yep.
Forrest: (turning to look at me) Whoa! You look so beautiful!!!
Me: That is such a nice thing to say! Thank you, Forrest!
Forrest: Has no one ever told you that thing before?

Jeff helping Forrest with the TV.
Jeff: Push a button on the remote. Just push any button.
Forrest: But where is the ‘any’ button?!

We went to church with my mom a few weeks ago, and Forrest went with her to the Sunday School class she teaches to the 16 and 17 year old kids. There were 3 boys in attendance that day, and after they (very nicely!) spent a few minutes chatting with Forrest, he turned to my mom and . . .
Forrest: (in a very loud stage whisper) Are these guys boys or mans??

Forrest: Mama, did you know that everybody gets scared sometimes?
Me: Even Daddy?
Forrest: Welllll . . . no, Daddy does not get scared, because he has a lot of guns.
Me:

In the car, listening to Taylor Swift.
Forrest: (dramatic sigh) I wish the people on the radio were REAL.
Me: They are real . . . we just don’t know them.
Forrest: Really?! That is cool!
Me: Yep. Do you wish you knew Taylor Swift?
Forrest: No. I wish I knew Carrie (Underwood). Do you know where Carrie lives? Can we go to her house to play?
Dream big, little buddy. And also, good taste.

Forrest: Can I have some milk?
Me: Sure.
Forrest: No, wait!! I want CHOCOLATE milk! Can I have that?
Me: Ok.
Forrest: Do you know how to make it? Because if you don't know how to make it, I can have regular milk.
Me: I think I can handle it.
Forrest: Are you sure? Are you SUUUURE you know how to make it? Maybe you should just get me regular milk.
Such confidence in my kitchen abilities!

We had a neighbor girl babysit recently. Before we left, I asked if she had any questions, and she said she’d be fine—she just lives up the street and she said she’d call her mom for help if she had any trouble. The next morning:
Me: Did you have fun with Elizabeth last night, Forrest?
Forrest: Yes!! I love Elizabeth!!
Me: Oh, good! What did you guys do together?
Forrest: We played Legos, and she gave me a snack, and she called her mom one time, and she tucked me into bed!
Me: (worried about the call to her mom—maybe something happened that she didn’t tell me about?) Oh yeah? What did she say on the phone to her mom?
Forrest: Elizabeth called her mom and she saided, “MOM! OH NO! DARCY CRAPPED ALL OVER HER SHIRT!!!”

Upon spotting a box of maxi pads being purchased by someone ahead of us in line at Walmart . . .
Forrest: (loudly) What’s she buying? Are those for her BUTT?? Because they look like DIAPERS.

Forrest: What does frenemy mean?
Me: . . . what?
Forrest: I said what does FRENEMY mean?
Me: Um, I guess it means someone who is sort of your friend, but doesn’t treat you very nicely.
Forrest: Hm.
Me: Does that make sense?
Forrest: But in Toy Story, why do they say, ‘you’ve got a frenemy’??